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Aug 28 2008

America’s Got Talent - A Queen With Great Big Balls and a Human Pinata

Published by laurabelle at 10:37 am under Reviews Edit This

agtlogosmall.jpgTuesday’s America’s Got Talent was an entertaining show, and by the time we got to the end with Neal E. Boyd, it was just flat out amazing. Jerry Springer asks Piers Morgan his thoughts on the overall standard of the night, and he believes it was terrific with one or two exceptions, and calls the ending with Neal just incredible. Sharon Osbourne says there were a lot of surprises for her, but jokes they were good ones, eliciting boos. We don’t want Sharon to joke apparently. David Hasselhoff knows it must have been a tough decision for America to place the vote and gets tongue-tied trying to explain how tough it was for him as a judge.

After the votes came in last night, they are sending the top four vote getters on to the top twenty, and the judges will decide who will stay and who will leave between the acts that received votes placing them in fifth and sixth place. Extreme Dance FM and Ronny B. are brought up with one leaving and one stay. This one’s obvious. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Ronny. The next pair is nearly just as obvious, Shimshi and Jessica Price, and indeed the young singer stays. Between DC Cowboys and Cadence, it isn’t as obvious. The percussionists end up staying. I’m certainly hoping the choice between Derrick Barry and Neal E. Boyd is as obvious as it looks, and it is. Neal stays.

gon_308a_12.jpgThe judges will need to decide between the final two acts, Elite or The James Gang. The act with two votes from the judges will stay. Piers feels they haven’t seen the best of the unique James Gang and gives them his vote. After warning Elite not to look at her with the tears in her eyes, Sharon apologizes and votes for The James Gang. Elite is going home without even hearing from David. As she cries even more, The James Gang console her. But this I don’t mean a quick, meaningful hug, I mean talking and holding her. The Hoff appears to be crying as well. One of The James Gang holds Elite up in the air for the crowd to cheer for her then walks her down the catwalk where she high fives with David. The James Gang seems to refuse to leave the stage before they know this little girl is okay. I think they’ve earned my vote for next time based on this alone. That’s not an act, but a class act.

This first performers of the night are Beyond Belief Dance Company, twenty-one dancers that have been working together for eight years. They’ve worked through torn ligaments, ankle problems, and dislocated shoulders. They do a routine that involves acrobatics as well as hip hop and seem to be a little off as the the DC Cowboys did last night. Perhaps it’s a problem with large groups. Piers pinpoints it a little further, saying the bad news is he didn’t think it was that tight as some are better dancers than others, but that will happen in dance groups. Yet, he found them electrifying when they came together. Sharon calls them sassy with a great attitude, but wants more if they continue. David tells them they nailed it and their hard work and practice paid off.

Paul Salos brings us the magic and music of Frank Sinatra, and says it’s hard to be 72 trying to do Sinatra at 40, yet he’s been wanting this moment for forty years. Piers says he has some big shoes to fill, singing one of he Frank’s biggest hits tonight. He sings My Way, and his piano accompanist is in a blue shadow, making it all appear as if it’s happening long ago. He brings us back to a great time with this. After a standing ovation by the judges, Piers tells him the irony is that Paul didn’t do it his way, but the way Frank would have done it. He has his moves, his voice, his charm, and his popularity. Sharon calls Paul one classy guy and says he has it all. David tells him while the winner goes to Las Vegas, “Baby, you are Vegas.” He knows Frank is looking down on him approvingly.

gon_308b_05.jpgKazual are four brothers that have being singing as a group, staring out by singing in church. They’ve been sleeping in cars just to make it and knows their parents have scarified the same. David notes they’ve always done ballads and now need to show a different side to themselves. They all takes turns singing the lead tonight, but only one sings good alone, eliciting an X from Piers. He tells them when they sing together they have great harmonies, but as individuals, with the exception of one, they blew it big time. Sharon agrees with this, saying it wasn’t their best. David chalks it up to nerves and says they should just let the one brother always sing the lead.

Zooperstars have dedicated their lives and sacrificed their family and friends for this dream. From their audition, Piers found them absolutely ridiculous and not remotely funny, unlike David. This group in duck, alligator, old man, beaver, and bug costumes come out on scooters and dance around to a Village People medley. While I can see they have a place with talent, I don’t think it’s on this show. Piers can’t even get in his critique as everyone is cheering so loudly. Looking at them, he wants to take a large harpoon and five darts to finish them off. Sharon thinks they’re great for a halftime shwo, but isn’t sure their act will sustain on stage for an hour and a half in Vegas. David claims this is why it’s called America’s Got Talent and not Britain, as he thinks they’re funny and entertaining.

The Wright Kids are among the youngest in the competition and are used to playing in an ice cream shop for tips and grilled cheese. Just a note, Publishers. I’d work for that too! They’ll be trying to do a crossover from bluegrass to pop tonight. They sing Daydream Believer and resemble The Partridge Family, or more pointedly, The Cowsills, the group the Partridges were based on. Perhaps they should have done I Think I Love You instead. As they walk to the front of the stage and the youngest is dragging a huge bass, Piers thinks he’s the only contestant with an instrument twice as big as he is. While they aren’t the best singers, he feels they make up for it in charm. Sharon thinks their risk of moving to pop came off well, and David also recalls The Partridge Family, thinking they’re bringing America back to a time with better values. We can thank Shirley for that.

Jonathan Arons started off playing the trombone and threw dancing in with it playing in a funk band. He wants to break the stereotype that musicians don’t like to dance. He plays and dances to a disco medley that includes Let’s Groove Tonight, Boogie Wonderland, and September. He just personifies fun. Piers tells him as they say in England, he’s one sandwich short of a picnic, yet he’s also incredibly entertaining. Sharon wonders if there’s a pair of old socks or a slipper shoved in his instrument, as it’s horribly out of tune, yet she loves him. David agrees it’s the worst trombone playing, but also the most entertaining act they’ve seen, comparing him to a live cartoon.

gon_308b_06.jpgU.S. Army serviceman Daniel Jens says after everything he’s been through, to be able to sing and play the guitar in Iraq took away the stress and danger, as he just got lost in his music. He knows he couldn’t have gotten this far without his wife’s support and hopes to not forget the lyrics this time, wanting to nail it. He sings Every Breath You Take with an acoustic guitar and is definitely the best I’ve heard him, especially as he flips his guitar to the back and belts out the bridge. Judging him for the first time out of uniform, Piers calls him pretty good, yet says none of the voices he’s heard tonight belong on a Vegas stage. Sharon warns him not to call her ma’am, but “Shaza,” and thinks he sings with great passion. David says while they’ve had zoo characters, impersonations, and dancers on the stage, Daniel’s a man and inspires him.

Slippery Kittens are a group of moms that make macaroni and cheese and take the kids to the park, but by night they escape to the world of burlesque. They interestingly enough harken back to the same line spoken the night before by the DC Cowboys that jinxed them. “If we have one missed step, it’s all over.” They enter the stage to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy and strip down to reveal red, white and blue one piece and two piece outfits with tassles strategically placed. It’s not my cup of tea, but I can see it being many others’. Piers buzzes them and explains it’s because he actually wanted them to put their clothes back on, and figures it might have something to do with their ample tattoos. Sharon thinks her fellow Brit needs glasses and could see them performing in Vegas strutting their stuff and mentions what sounds like “lovely old breasts.” David calls them Baywatch Next Generation.

George the Giant is “a 7′3″ bald-headed man that does weird things.” Sharon doesn’t care for him, and claims he’s “barking mad.” George explains during rehearsals for this stunt tonight he lost consciousness, but doctors gave him the green light for tonight. He’s chained upside down and looks a little like Hannibal Lecter. He talks about this great escape, then Mexican hat dance music starts and a group of kids come out and beat him with sticks, breaking the chains and having candy fall out. He’s a 7′3″ pinata. He’s trying to be funny, but is missing … in a big way.

gon_308a_15.jpgPiers and Sharon both X George, and if I had my own button, I would have as well. The judges all have stunned faces, and Piers tells him it was childish and embarrassing. He tells him he should have done himself a favor and stayed in the hospital instead of wasting their time. Sharon tells him with the buildup of risking his life, and having been taken to the hospital, only to be hung upside down and have sweets in his chest is just silly, silly, silly. David tells him this is a million dollar competition for Las Vegas, and that was a little strange. Strange doesn’t cover it, David. I didn’t think anyone could be more bizarre than Ronny B., but this one takes it.

Queen Emily talks about this being her dream, but waiting twenty years as raising her daughters was more important. Now it’s her time. She comes out singing Ain’t No Mountain High Enough and is no longer the woman hoping for a chance and wondering if she still has it. She has more confidence than anything I’ve seen here this week. She looks like Diana Ross up there in her long flowing gown with train. This girl just had her moment. It may have taken twenty years, but I think it was probably worth it.

The judges give Queen Emily a standing ovation, and David is once again holding back tears, then just lets them out and wipes them away. Piers tells Queen Emily to look at herself and what they found. They found a superstar. After Neal’s performance last night, he called him the Michael Phelps of the show, not thinking anyone could beat him, but they just found someone that could. Sharon tells Emily she has it all, the confidence, the style, the voice, and she’s got “great big balls.” David tells her she has just thrown this competition into complete disarray and is now absolutely the frontrunner. I have chills just writing about it.

There is no way Queen Emily is going anywhere. And I’m just as sure of that as I am that George the Giant is leaving. I don’t think Kazual will make it either. I hope Jonathan Arons and Daniel Jens make it as well, as one is just flat out fun, and the other was the best I’ve heard him. But I think the only one that can count on staying next Tuesday is Queen Emily. She doesn’t even need to pack a bag. She should just settle in and be prepared to stay here for awhile and fight it out eventually with Neal E. Boyd.

For more information on America’s Got Talent, see SirLinksalot: America’s Got Talent.

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One Response to “America’s Got Talent - A Queen With Great Big Balls and a Human Pinata”

  1. LizMon 28 Aug 2008 at 12:45 pm edit this

    You called it spot on, Laura. I may be forgetting another blockbuster act in the second 20 next week, but I think it will be a Queen Emily/Neal E. Boyd showdown. And I, too, was beyond impressed with the James Gang’s treatment of the little girl who lost. They should win a special “America’s Got Class” award. Which brings me to my final comment — why do these judges vote through young kids who they know aren’t going to win? It seems to me they just give these kids false hope and make it harder down the road when they are inevitably voted off. Or is it that they don’t have the courage to vote the kids off themselves, and so they lay it on the voting public to do that dirty work? Hmmmm……

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